A good friend is in the midst of an incredible professional success. She directed Into the Woods, a revival of Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine’s musical from 1987 that debuted last Spring at Encores! and has now moved to Broadway. It’s wonderful! And it arrives just when we need it, with the promise and acknowledgement that bad things happen and there is no happily ever after, but we forge connections with each other, and persist.
I can totally relate to this! I've been writing fanfiction and publishing them online on-and-off since I was 14 years old. I publish at websites that allow kudos (basically "likes") and commenting, and I've felt a little thrill each time a new comment came in, and my heart would fall even if the comment mentioned something as small as a grammatical mistake. At one point, I was "strategizing", thinking about which fandoms are bigger (thus higher likelihood of kudos and comments), or how to end chapters in a way that elicit a comment.
... And then it wasn't fun anymore. I went into fanfiction because it was fun for me to explore what-ifs with my favorite characters, and to connect with other fans. When it became a numbers game and the only things I wanted were positive comments, it just wasn't the same.
Now I've made peace with the kudos and comments stuff - I'll focus on writing what I enjoy (because it can be truly magical, as you said), and acknowledge that the numbers are influenced by many other factors beyond whether my story was good. (And 'good' for me is sometimes beside the point, the point is enjoying what I create). I still get a kick out of comments, but I'm getting better at not letting them be my North Star.
... all of which is to say, very relatable. And I can't wait for your book to arrive!
I can totally relate to this! I've been writing fanfiction and publishing them online on-and-off since I was 14 years old. I publish at websites that allow kudos (basically "likes") and commenting, and I've felt a little thrill each time a new comment came in, and my heart would fall even if the comment mentioned something as small as a grammatical mistake. At one point, I was "strategizing", thinking about which fandoms are bigger (thus higher likelihood of kudos and comments), or how to end chapters in a way that elicit a comment.
... And then it wasn't fun anymore. I went into fanfiction because it was fun for me to explore what-ifs with my favorite characters, and to connect with other fans. When it became a numbers game and the only things I wanted were positive comments, it just wasn't the same.
Now I've made peace with the kudos and comments stuff - I'll focus on writing what I enjoy (because it can be truly magical, as you said), and acknowledge that the numbers are influenced by many other factors beyond whether my story was good. (And 'good' for me is sometimes beside the point, the point is enjoying what I create). I still get a kick out of comments, but I'm getting better at not letting them be my North Star.
... all of which is to say, very relatable. And I can't wait for your book to arrive!
Oh, Jessi, I can so relate!! Thank you for writing what so many of us are feeling but fail to express 🙏🏼