Inside one of the most inspiring creative partnerships of our time
Roxane Gay and Debbie Millman talk about hope, shame and discipline
I wish you could have plopped down on the couch next to me when Roxane Gay and Debbie Millman came into the studio last month. It fell casual, unscripted, a bit like being invited into their garden: a place shaped by intention, care, creativity, and deep partnership. They spoke about love, failure, discipline, and the slow magic of building a life and a creative practice together.
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If you've followed their work, you know that Debbie is a visionary designer and storyteller whose interviews with cultural figures have shaped the creative canon. Roxane is a writer and critic whose words are sharp as they are soulful. Together, these writes become a forcefield of curiosity, care, and co-creation.
Debbie’s new book, Love Letter to a Garden, is technically a book about the garden they tend at their home in Los Angeles, and includes recipes from Roxane. It’s part memoir, part manifesto, part recipe collection; at its root, its a meditation on what it means to build something lasting together, in this world and in ourselves.
In our conversation, Debbie and Roxane talk candidly about the rhythms of their relationship—how they’ve each learned to slow down, to trust, to make space for discomfort, and to allow for surprise.
There’s a tenderness between them that’s hard to describe—but I think you’ll hear it. They are partners in the deepest sense: artists, lovers, co-conspirators in the business of beauty and meaning.
Warmly, Jessi
From the archives: Roxane Gay
If the logo in that photograph looks familiar, you’ve been listening to the show for a very long time. In our first year—back in 2019—we put together a dream roster of guests that included Seth Meyers, Elizabeth Gilbert and yes, Roxane Gay. Now some of these people were folks I knew, or folks that, through office connections, I could reach. But a few were simply the folks I admired most. I’d just read Roxane’s memoir, Hunger, so I emailed her blind and introduced myself. To my surprise, she offered to come in for a conversation. It’s my very favorite episode from our first season.
Back then, we made mugs. I sent one to Roxane and several years later, when her wife Debbie came into the studio for a recording, she was already familiar with the show. She told me that she drank her coffee from a Hello Monday mug just like this that she found in Roxane’s kitchen.
There are still a few mugs left out there, mostly with broken handles and fading logos. We’ve been around a long time now, and they’re getting old. Someday, we’ll get around to making them again! Anyhow, here’s that original episode:
